i just got lost in your eyes
i never thought i’d be jealous of will ferrell…
i love dave grohl.
i do not, however, love the jesus freak look he’s sporting lately.
exciting, informative, snarky, and very likely fabricated tales of life as an american expat in london
Like this postjen dies if quit on
i’ve always had a bit of regret attached to my blog name – it was something i’d thought of completely off the cuff (mostly because it rhymed) when i was first starting a blog for just my family to read. and then, after time, it became too late to change it to something wittier, or punnier. so while i’m not in love with it, it seems i am stuck with it.
and then i saw this post by charlotte about the anagram server – so here are my top choice anagrams for “jen’s den of iniquity”
Jennie of Tiny squid
Find Eye, Join Squint
Find Sequin Nite Joy
Quoted Jenny, Finis I
Disquiet Jenny Info
Sequined Nifty Join
Define In Squint, Joy
Fed Quinine Tin Joys
Deify, Enjoin, Squint
Jenny’s quid Tie Info
Jenny Dies If Quit On
Jen Notified Quinsy
Jen Tidy Sequin Info
Jen Din Quiets If Yon
(my server is playing up so i’m not sure if my upgrades will happen this weekend after all… grrrr.)
google is dumbing down the masses
so guess whose website is the number one aol.co.uk search result for “piss on me uk”?
i guess i’m more surprised that anyone actually still *uses* aol anymore. and obviously their search engine is actually google – because people who use aol are too dumb to know how to google on their own. and if my blog is the top hit for “piss on me uk” in google… well, then clearly google just ain’t what it used to be.
also – to the idiot who got to my blog searching “google upside down trees”, here’s a hint: you don’t actually have to *put* “google” in your search terms. google pretty much googles without you having to tell it to.
and on that mind-boggling note, the endless 30 days of nablopomo is finally over. you’ll pardon me if I take tomorrow off.
you’re so damn hot
the other day at thanksgiving dinner, the conversation turned to the “laminated list”.
you know the “laminated list”. from the friends wiki:
The show also popularized the idea of the “laminated list”, a list of celebrities that a person’s partner will permit them to sleep with if they were to ever meet them. In “The One with Frank Jr.” the characters exchange “lists” verbally, while Ross creates a physical list and laminates it, making his choices permanent.
and then i read this post, which reminded me of it. so, without further ado, i will answer the burning question: who’s on my laminated list?
1. john cusack
he’s quirky and funny and warm and self-effacing and just seems very genuine. plus, having been like 16 when “say anything” came out didn’t hurt. who can resist a vulnerable man with a boom box? my crush for him has continued to grow throughout the years with his offbeat movie roles and understated stardom.
2. dave grohl
i *may* have mention my love for him here before. the man is a modern day rock god, but a goofy, endearing one. the day i almost got his sweat on me remains one of the highlights of my fandom.
3. brad pitt
pedestrian choice, i know. but two words: “fight club”. also, at some point, he became a pretty darn good actor. and i was brainwashed with repeated viewings of mr. and mrs. smith. 
okay, here come the strange ones…
4. andre 3000
he’s soooo freaky-deaky, but he’s completely confident in his uniqueness – whether he’s rocking jeans or a wildly floral three piece suit or a blond wig and green-fringed trousers. and he’s a musical genius with more than a hint of jimi hendrix.
5. ewan mcgregor
i’ve never been a fan of his movies… but i love watching him on television. his personality and humour really make me all melty inside, and he wears a kilt for crying out loud.
and the girl crushes…
gwen stefani
she’s got style, a ridiculously successful career, red lips and a washboard stomach. but i still liked it best when she had pink hair.
drew barrymore
she’s a little bit ditzy, she’s got that wildchild past… there’s just something about her.
and finally, the obligatory angelina jolie
let’s face it, there’s not a laminated list she’s *not* on. and i was brainwashed with repeated viewings of mr. and mrs. smith.
ok go – you’re so damn hot
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i could use a cool mil
well, whaddya know? infamous “southie” boston irish gangster whitey bulger is roaming the streets of london. and there’s still a £1m pricetag on his head.
i’m keeping my eyes peeled!
who cares what the question is?
it’s that time again, folks… strangest search strings leading to my blog.
the “public education is clearly in the toilet if this spelling is any indication” award goes to: alternet life stiles
the “you need to narrow your friggin’ search string” award goes to: chills, fever, ski aches, or achy, or ache i feel -nausea, -nauseous, -fibromyalgia, -fibro-myalg
the “pseudo porn search string” award goes to: hotess blanding heels shoes play
and the “oh dear god, please tell me if you find it” award goes to: american halloween candy stores in uk
the bees – who cares what the question is?
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the queen’s english
pseudo-words and acronyms used at a workshop i attended this afternoon on a *national framework*:
- “purposivity”
– “contributivity”
– “t.a.p.u.p.a.” (transparency, accuracy, somethingsomethingsomethingsomething, pronounced “tah-poo-pah” and said without even cracking a smile)
they invested how much money and time on putting together this framework? and that’s the best they could do?!?!?!
the drawing board – the writer
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what i wouldn’t give
as much as i am an avid devotee of the dunks, i’m not sure how i feel about dunkin’ donuts coffee being sold in supermarkets. something about that just seems… wrong.
besides, it doesn’t help *me* out any now, does it? like, if they said they were going to start stocking dunkin’ donuts coffee in my local tescos, then i’d be all for it.
priorities, people. priorities.
otis reading – cigarettes and coffee
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they’ve always got a pound to buy their round
second most expensive city in the world? london. i’ve never experienced king-of-the-mountain moscow, but i’ve visited a few of the top 50 and wholeheartedly agree with the assessment. hell, i live here and sometimes *i* don’t know how i afford it.
i also have the unique experience of having lived in the cheapest city on the list: asuncion, paraguay. talk about a study in contrasts.
related anecdote: asuncion is the friendliest place i’ve been and conversely, london is the least friendly.
(these lists seem to come out every few weeks, and each uses its own arbitrary criteria… but i trust this one, because it uses nyc as its benchmark – a place where i’ve often said you have to be either young and stupid, or old and rich to move to.)
yes, i’ve just revealed my shameful secret love of hall and oates. go ahead: mock me. i don’t care.
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like the cycle of life… only, y’know… porn
so as i was skimming through the never ending list of porn-related search terms leading to my blog, i found this:
goldfish up my ass
so, insatiably curious as to *how on god’s green earth* that lead to my site, i checked.
turns out, google has indexed the comments on this page of mine.
it appears i am currently the number 3 result of that particular search string (out of only five, mind you, but still, good enough to qualify for a bronze medal). and now, having referenced “goldfish up my ass” again, i’m sure i’ll shoot straight to number one. 
my mom would be so proud!
catatonia – goldfish and paracetamol
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it’s may, it must be time for porn!
and this month’s winner of “bizarre porn search leading to my web site” is…
the mystery-that-is-google never fails to amaze me.
and no, i did not misspell “mannequines” anywhere in my blog that i can find.
…or, for that matter, “round asses”
built to spill – distopian dream girl
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timewasters
i love netvibes, the metafilter universe, overheard, and hype machine.
also, i am the last person in the known universe to join last.fm
meanwhile, my books are collecting dust.
that is all.
c’mon in, the water’s fine
Go to Google.com
Click on “Maps”
Click on “get Directions”
From: London, England
To: New York, New York
Click “search”
and why on earth would someone need to cross the channel first? though i shouldn’t complain, since according to these directions, i touch land at long wharf, boston and can stop-off to visit the family after my brisk ocean dip!
(bit of an obvious one, today’s song, but it had to be done!)
ben lee – float on (modest mouse cover)
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nobody can eat 50 eggs
but is is bad that i want to boil a bunch and try to peel them after watching this?
you know you’re a sugar addict when…
at a work conference at a *very* posh venue (one whitehall place, for londoners – yup, that’s some wicked old architecture. gloved servers, tailcoated doormen and all) we each had a little box of mints at our individual place settings…
and i had absolutely *no* shame in openly scavenging afterwards for people’s leftovers, swooping in like a vulture on roadkill.
oh, and i also ate the brown sugar lumps at the coffee station. this will surprise absolutely no one who’s ever suffered the embarrassment of eating out at a restaurant with me!
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eurovision makes my ears bleed
One of the more mind-boggling traditions on this side of the pond, is the eurovision song contest. this is an annual event where all european countries are invited to put forward an unrecorded pop song, performed by amateur bands or artists, for competetive consideration. The “best song” (and I use that term loosely) is determined by public vote.
eurovision is just one of those baffling *european* things that, not having been born here, i’ll probably never fully appreciate. although the competition has been around since 1956, its biggest claim to fame is having launched the career of supergroup abba in 1972, and they’ve been trying to match that wild success ever since. abba won with their song “waterloo” – which is, in fact, a fairly indicative benchmark of the calibre of most of the groups and songs entered. each year, a new winner is chosen, gets their 15 minutes of televised fame… and then slinks off into obscurity forever.
the whole thing is pretty laughable. the general rule of thumb for entries seems to be the cheesier the better. the “controversies” which crop up from year to year include accusations of satanist lyrics from a finnish monster metal band called lordi (one of the notable exceptions to the abba-esque rule), and not-so-veiled references to iranian nukes in this year’s israeli entry (what israel is doing in a european competition, i could make an educated guess at – but i’m not touching *that* topic with a ten foot pole…) overall, however, it’s much more in the genre of entertainment-lite-lite. this year’s entry for the u.k. is artist scooch singing “Flying the flag (for you)”. to give you a gander of *exactly what you’re missing out on*, just click below.
bear in mind, this is the *winning* british entry. a song with exactly 2 lines of lyrics, whose best gimmick is dancing flight attendants. people spent their precious time and hard-earned money to vote for this tripe.
and now you understand my sense of utter bewilderment every year when the eurovision contest is trumpeted from television and newspaper headlines. the only phrase which accurately captures the reaction of my assaulted-and-stunned musical sensibilities?
“wtf!?!?”
scissor sisters – music is the victim
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eurovision the gods must be crazy
best. spam comment. ever. (it’s long – you might need a cup of coffee – but go catch it while it’s still up!)
song of the day: babaloo – what’s in the banana?
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(oops! just realised i forgot a “song of the day” for yesterday’s post! that’s now been rectified!)
It’s civilised to queue, it’s glorious to be polite
Apparently, China is trying to teach its citizens to queue for the 2008 Beijing Olympics.
Anyone who’s ever been to the country knows just how hilarious a proposal that is. The only thing essential to the Chinese “queue” is the liberal use of elbows. In my month in the country, I never saw even two people in any sort of intentional linear arrangement. Most everything in China is “first come, first served” and that’s a motto they take pretty damn seriously. Queueing is a system for people assured of abundance.
It’ll be an interesting experiment to be sure.
song of the day: modest mouse – the world at large
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and we have a winner
i know it’s only 10 days into the new month, but i feel quite safe in calling this particular race early. this month’s winner for “bizarre porn search leading to my blog” is…
women fucking vacuums
song of the day (in keeping with the search theme) Bouncing Souls – Hopeless Romantic
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search terms 
