this kind of thing makes me so angry: tories think they should impose a 3 month “cooling off” period before people can file for divorce.

it just demonstrates and reinforces the same idiotic stereotypes that so many conservatives have – as if people take an irresposible, cavalier attitude towards ending a marriage, or that it’s too easy for people to make life-changing decisions.  a distorted perception that bears absolutely not resemblance to the truth of most any divorced person i know.

my divorce was amicable, quickly resolved, and without a doubt, the right decision, arrived at after several years of counselling – and it was still the worst experience of my life.  the idea that some stuffed-shirt could or should tell me that i need an additional 3 months to “cool off” is beyond insulting.  i don’t know anyone who ever comes to a decision to divorce as a result of some sort of impetutous, overheated whim.  no one takes the decision to dissolve their life with their spouse lightly.  no one.  deciding to divorce is a painful and heavy moment.  so who are these people that need to “cool off” to make sure they’re doing what

divorce in the u.k. is already more difficult than in many places:

- you cannot divorce until you’ve been married for a full year
- there is no “no fault” divorce
- unless you accuse your spouse of adultery or unreasonable behaviour, you have to be separated for 2 years first
- even if your spouse has left you, you have to wait two years to be divorced

the idea that adding another 3 months to an already emotionally wrought and drawn-out process will somehow dissuade people from frivolously divorcing is, frankly, insulting.  and what about people who’ve been psychologically or physically abused? should they be forced to stay married for an additional 3 months to salve the conscience of a group of politicians?

the clue to the kind of thinking that prompted the report can be found at the end of the article:

Mr Duncan Smith told the BBC that compared to their grandparents, young people had “very high” expectations of marriage “far beyond actually what it will deliver”.

He added: “It’s ironic really, given the nature of family breakdown around them, they have this incredibly high expectation of it.

“And so the idea of compromise from day one, two living as cheaply as one, seems to have disappeared.

“You do not need a £20,000 themed wedding to be a happily-married couple.”

ah, that’s it – today’s young generation of selfish, spendthrift couples who need a lesson from their elders. oh, well that’s okay then!

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