if at first you don’t get clean, try, try again
i swear one day immigration is going to arrive at my front door and revoke my burgundy passport on the spot. i simply *cannot* get the hang of a proper bath.
i’ve written here about my difficulty with baths before, but they say god loves a tryer. i had scoured the bathroom yesterday ceiling to floor – a not-small feat considering the things that were growing in there – followed by a run and some yoga. after all that exertion, and with a pristine bathroom to take advantage of, i decided to make good use of some of the lovely lush bath stuff my dear husband gave me on our anniversary the other day.
i ran the bath in optimistic anticipation as it filled up with clouds of scented foam. dimmed the lights, grabbed a book, and hopped in.
unfortunately a) i hadn’t regulated the temperature of the bathwater well enough and b) had grabbed a less than compelling book, so after a mere few minutes, i was smelling good, but bored and chilly and cursing the waste of a gorgeous bath bomb. i managed to hold out for a full fifteen minutes before conceding defeat.
today, i had a 12 mile run in the damp and cold, as well as a still-sparkling tub, and decided that this presented a perfect opportunity to enjoy-this-if-it-kills-me-dammit! determined to avert the problems of the previous evening, i selected another luxurious bath fizzy, ran a *hot* bath, and brought my ipod to listen to. sorted.
except that after about 5 minutes, i began to perspire – lightly at first, then sweating profusely. the room was a bit steamy, the too-hot water was weighing heavily on my chest, and i was suddenly having a hard time breathing and feeling a bit faint. hanging over the side of the tub, trying to figure out how to put my head between my knees when my knees were underwater, i felt like an idiot – visions of the headlines after i drowned from passing out in the bath swimming before my eyes.
i officially give up. i have two more bathballs left in the box. they smell fantastic, but after my near death experience this evening, i think they’ll be relegated to perfuming the back of my closet.
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Comment by Stacey
8.03.2009 @ 21:49 pm
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!!! I will never get baths, for exactly the same reasons.
I always thought I was the only one, but this makes me feel like there’s a secret sisterhood of haters of the bath. WOOO!
Comment by Tabitha
9.03.2009 @ 03:35 am
Another one here who doesn’t do baths. I get too antsy and sit there thinking, “Is this it?” I can never get comfy enough to read, and no matter how hot the water is (I loves me my super hot showers!), some part of me is exposed and freezing. Plus there is my fear of falling asleep and drowning. I know it’s slim, but it looms.
Comment by Amy
9.03.2009 @ 05:44 am
I don’t take baths often, but I gotta admit I like them when I do. That is, if there are some special, girlie, luxury products put in them. Otherwise, it’s just like sitting in….you know…a bath. With water in it. I feel like a chicken that’s about to be boiled in a pot.
Comment by nikoline
10.03.2009 @ 14:44 pm
hmmm. i love baths. and currently live in a studio with only a shower.
in any case- i recall frequently testing the water temperature during the tub filling process. or even getting in half way during the process to regulate the temp thing…and as for books – perhaps bring more than 1? i think, despite loving them, i’ve really only ever sat in a bath from 20 -30 mins.
i fear i sound like a total bore here. i’ve been so earnest and serious about every little thing lately – and now it seems, so with the bathtime considerations…
don’t give up!!
Comment by Sarah
10.03.2009 @ 20:41 pm
I tend to be more of a non-bath person, but I’ve had some success recently, and realized that it’s not the bubbles, fizz, bombs, or even mood that really makes a good bath, it’s the temperature of the water. I, too, have felt dizzy from over-hot baths and yucky from chilly baths. So..I monitor the bath as it’s filling, and even play around with the temp once I get in. It’s a very precise temp with a small window. I’ve have enjoyable baths lasting nearly 1/2 an hour! (5 minutes was tops from me before).
Comment by Thomas Foolery
11.03.2009 @ 16:19 pm
you wouldn’t have made a very good roman.
on the other hand, food, wine, and group sex might’ve made it more bearable for you
Comment by Jen
11.03.2009 @ 17:18 pm
on the other hand, food, wine, and group sex might’ve made it more bearable for you
i think that’s clearly what’s missing!
Comment by Your Sister
11.03.2009 @ 18:16 pm
i agree with tabitha and stacey; baths are overrated. also, a bath basically consists of stewing in your own bacteria plus whatever may be left growing in the tub. gross. even the three year old finds enjoyment in a lovely shower. quick and much less work!