as we head into the final days of the bush presidency, there is, i think, a general sense of good riddance to bad rubbish – wanting to wash our hands of the whole sordid thing and finally be done with it, once and for all.  there is discussion about whether or not he, or members of his administration should be brought up on charges.  whether or not obama will/should pre-emptively pardon him.  in many corners a belief that in order to move forward as a nation, we must forgive, much like what happened after nixon and watergate.

i can’t bring myself to do it.

i remember with crystal clarity, thinking in 2000 (after finally letting go of hope that gore might somehow claim victory)… “we’ve survived poor presidents before.  how bad could it be?”  those exact words.

in my craziest nightmares, i could not have begun to fathom just how singularly and willfully destructive one man could be.  the depths of despair i have felt under the thumb of this one man – worse than any dictator because he did not destroy and kill in spite of his country’s citizens, but because they elevated him to power.

and then he left them to drown in the streets like dogs.  the most powerful man on the planet, a man with the power to summon the most powerful armies in the world at a moments notice, the power to call upon nations of allies, the power to annihilate much of the globe with the touch of a button, the power to launch humans into outer space… sat and watched for days as 2,000 people died in front of his eyes.

i have never in my life felt so utterly helpless as to sit watching americans die on television, because he claimed he could not step in to save them.  i will never, ever forgive him for that.

i sobbed when he invaded afghanistan.  i sobbed when he invaded iraq.  i have raged over guantanamo and habeus corpus.  i was sickened over waterboarding and abu ghraib and extraordinary rendition.  i felt violated by the warrantless wiretapping and deeply shamed by both his superb displays of blind, blithering ignorance and “christian” fundamentalism.  as an expat, i have had to suffer the humiliation of having people believe i might have voted for him, and the blatant anti-americanism he managed to engender in so many countries around the world.

he is a liar, a corrupt and morally bereft politician, and a blood-soaked murderer.

how bad could it be?  if only we had known.  many people felt the “assault” by the iraqi journalist who threw his shoes at him was a grave crime against a world leader and head of state.  i say if the worst thing that happened to bush after all his crimes against humanity was having to duck an errant shoe, then he got off pretty fucking lightly.

it has been 729 days.  three more left until the nightmare is over.

black mountain – tyrants

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