*this* is why i love flight of the conchords.
We see ya girls checkin’ out our trunks. We see you girls checkin’ out the front of our trunks. We see you girls lookin’ at our junk, then checkin’ out our rumps, then back to our sugar lumps.
sadly, “my humps” is still more ridiculous than this parody! but the homage to the beastie boys is priceless…
i read earlier today about the pope lifting the excommunication of a holocaust denier.
now, i could care less about what the pope does. what i found interesting was this:
“I believe that the historical evidence is strongly against — is hugely against — 6 million Jews having been deliberately gassed in gas chambers as a deliberate policy of Adolf Hitler,” he said in the interview, which appeared on various Web sites since its broadcast.
“I believe there were no gas chambers,” he added.
He added: “I think that 200,000 to 300,000 Jews perished in Nazi concentration camps, but none of them by gas chambers.”
Prosecutors in Regensburg, Germany, where the interview took place — and where the pope once taught — are investigating Williamson’s comments on suspicion of inciting racial hatred. Holocaust denial is treated as a crime in Germany.
while i understand why germany is so sensitive to holocaust deniers, i don’t understand prosecuting them. aside from my personal fundamental belief in freedom of speech (even hateful speech), i don’t get what function it’s meant to serve?
no one with even a shred of credibility believes that the holocaust didn’t happen, and anyone with a few brain cells would immediately dismiss these kinds of remarks out of hand as completely deluded. clearly he is not thinking rationally. and we should ensure that future generations continue to learn the lessons that history has taught us. as ban ki-moon has said today, on this international day of remembrance:
“New initiatives in Holocaust remembrance and education have given us an authentic basis for hope. But we can and must do more if we are to make that hope a reality.
We must continue to teach our children the lessons of history’s darkest chapters. That will help them do a better job than their elders in building a world of peaceful coexistence”.
but *prosecuting* these kinds of remarks gives them a power they would never otherwise have. they imply that we are fearful of the weight of these words, no matter how utterly bizarre. we give them gravitas by treating them as too dangerous, too influential to be discredited through simple exposure to the light of facts and truth. and in banning them, we risk making such ridiculous ideas more attractive to others through giving them the aura of naughty excitement of the forbidden.
as any parent knows, the best way to extinguish clownish behaviour is to ignore it.
he’s a fool. and instead of being afraid of foolish ideas, we should be careful of turning a fool into a martyr.
came home from work today to find a wide swathe of cat puke… strewn all the way across the bed and soaked through the down duvet.
he’s still alive and mewling at me as i type. i can only conclude that i must love this cat something awful.
it’s “blog for choice day”, the 36th anniversary of the roe v. wade decision.
this year’s question:
What is your top pro-choice hope for President Obama and/or the new Congress ?
the overturn of president bush’s global gag rule, which denied funding to any organisation which offers abortion, abortion counselling, or which tries to make or keep abortion legal in its own country.
because it’s one thing to try to impose one’s morality on a nation which has democracy and a wealth of resources – it’s another thing entirely to impose one’s morality on those who live in countries which are oppressive and poor. countries where the maternal mortality rate is high, and infant survival low. where contraceptives are needed to prevent the wildfire spread of hiv. the lives of those women are at our mercy, and punishing them for unintentionally getting pregnant by forcing them to have children they may be unable to bear (physically, emotionally, or financially), is beyond the scope of any human’s right.
“If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.”
I’ll admit to being a bit overcome with emotion as I watched Barack Obama stand on the steps of the Capitol and take the oath of office yesterday. But even through the tears, I, along with everyone else, was taking mental notes on what he said. Here then, is what stood out to me from the inaugural address of the man who is now the 44th President of the United States .
“We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and nonbelievers.”
I can’t remember the last time I heard a political speech in America which explicitly acknowledged atheists. Time and time again, (and particularly so in the past eight years as fundamentalists held positions of power), we “nonbelievers” have had God and religion and prayer shoved down our throats. The curtain separating church and state in the US has become threadbare and all but a thin wisp of a notion in many places. References to America and God go hand in hand, to the point where it’s nearly impossible to mention one without in the same breath mentioning the other.
And yet, though lots of good people do not believe in any “higher power”, we’re seen as a freakish anomaly, and less “American” than properly godfearing citizens. How dare we postulate that the bountiful wealth and strength of our country is anything other than pre-ordained? How dare we insist on removing the ten commandments tablets from state buildings, or prevent the bible club from meeting during school hours? What’s the harm in teaching “intelligent design” alongside evolution? And our refusal to say the “under god” in the pledge of allegiance is seen as practically a slap in the face. For many people of faith, atheism the antithesis of patriotism. For politicians, then, when grappling with the thorny issues presented by a national constitution with a prohibition on federally endorsed religion, and a citizenry who are largely religious… well, it’s much easier to pretend we don’t even exist. Which means that every single time a politician says America is a nation of many faiths, they leave out a whole segment of the population by omission. So that shout out is particularly welcome; a reminder that we’re Americans too – and no less than the President says so.
“…we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals”.
I literally leapt up and shouted “yes!!” when I heard him say this. Too long we’ve been told that we had to surrender our domestic civil liberties, and sacrifice our innate human rights in order to secure peace. Too long, we’ve been submissive to invasion of our personal privacy, and the erosion in our collective consciousness of that bright, clear line dividing right from wrong. Too long we’ve been fed that false dichotomy: you’re either with us, or you’re against us. A new leader is calling “bullshit” on all of that, and acknowledging out loud, for the other leaders of the world to hear, that we can no longer hypocritically stand on principle while taking the shortcuts around the moral high ground. More than that, “ America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.” We know we’ve effed up. We know we can’t achieve peace by acting unilaterally. We’re starting over.
“This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed — why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent Mall, and why a man whose father less than 60 years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.”
There, then, is the race issue in a nutshell. His campaign was in large part successful because it transcended race – but people in America were craving a direct acknowledgement of the profundity of this moment in history. An acknowledgement of the efforts of those who came before, that made this moment, *his moment*, possible. A hearkening back to those who, “for us… endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.” That his presidency is a symbol of “what free men and women can achieve”. He never had to say he was the first black president – the monuments he stood in front of said that. But it was monumentally important that he acknowledge it. With deftness and grace, he did.
“To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you … we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders.”
And finally, a president that understands and takes to heart, the concept of noblesse oblige. (For those that thought Obama was a socialist, that should send them into a right tizzy!) That isolationism hurts us as well as them, and that in the age of globalisation, we are all interdependent upon each other. There is no longer “first world” and “third world” societies – there are only developed and under-developed countries. We with “relative plenty” have both a moral and self-serving imperative to help those who do not.
Wow. Can you believe we actually elected such a man?
Yes, it is, after all, just a speech – what is delivered remains to be seen as he undertakes the most difficult job on the planet. Even if he falls short, he has lofty aim. But when you stand up before the world and set out your intentions – the benchmark against which history will ultimately judge you – you’d best be clear about what you’re standing for. And by that measure, he has set high standards.
Let’s hope the next four years measure up.
in speaking about the inauguration today, my colleague turned to me and said, “so how long until he gets assassinated?”
it made me really angry, actually. because if there’s one thing this election has taught me about stereotypes, it’s this: that many brits, who’ve never so much as set foot in the country, or known another American personally, are perfectly eager to believe that the entire United States of America is overrun with gun-toting, rabid racists, who’d more likely shoot a black man than vote for him.
i can’t begin to enumerate the times that someone i considered otherwise intelligent told *me*, as someone who spent nearly thirty years there, that America would never elect a black man as President. in all seriousness – even when the polls were showing otherwise, even as Obamamania was sweeping much of the country.
Brits often like to fancy themselves more enlightened on the issue of race – they see our nation’s ongoing open dialogue about race relations, our continual acknowledgement of the history of slavery, our attempts to identify ourselves in a way which is inclusive of our individual heritages, as evidence that America *must* be more racist. look how much we talk about it! look at the news stories! i’ve heard time and again from the media here that they don’t want to face the same problems that America does.
of course, the UK has more than its own fair share of racism – overt, covert, and ingrained- and as i’ve pointed out here before, things are far from all jolly and equal here. they simply deal with it differently, and have a different historical framework.
but i can honestly say, that i never would have believed so many of them would willingly subscribe to such a facile and shallow portrayal of a country they only know from television. and that in a subtle but undeniable way, so many would have wanted to see the US fail to elect a black man, because it would justify their belief in their superiority to the Americans. so many who honestly wanted to be able to say to me, “i told you so.”
so the comment about assassination pissed me off, because it speaks to the gross and crude stereotype about America that so many Brits want to believe.
of course we have problems. but we also have many kind, good, generous people. we are a nation of so many, with so much. so many people who believe that the one thing which *does* describe our country as a whole, is our collective power to constantly evolve into brighter and better versions of ourselves. a society which can always do better and be better than it was yesterday.
but of all days, today is a day for hope and change. what could i do? i smiled and let it go.
i know my america is bigger and better than any narrow stereotype. i know my america is wider and more encompassing than just its history. the proof is on my telly right now.
history speaks for itself.
otis redding – a change is gonna come
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the brilliance that is flight of the conchords is back.
life has meaning once again.
as we head into the final days of the bush presidency, there is, i think, a general sense of good riddance to bad rubbish – wanting to wash our hands of the whole sordid thing and finally be done with it, once and for all. there is discussion about whether or not he, or members of his administration should be brought up on charges. whether or not obama will/should pre-emptively pardon him. in many corners a belief that in order to move forward as a nation, we must forgive, much like what happened after nixon and watergate.
i can’t bring myself to do it.
i remember with crystal clarity, thinking in 2000 (after finally letting go of hope that gore might somehow claim victory)… “we’ve survived poor presidents before. how bad could it be?” those exact words.
in my craziest nightmares, i could not have begun to fathom just how singularly and willfully destructive one man could be. the depths of despair i have felt under the thumb of this one man – worse than any dictator because he did not destroy and kill in spite of his country’s citizens, but because they elevated him to power.
and then he left them to drown in the streets like dogs. the most powerful man on the planet, a man with the power to summon the most powerful armies in the world at a moments notice, the power to call upon nations of allies, the power to annihilate much of the globe with the touch of a button, the power to launch humans into outer space… sat and watched for days as 2,000 people died in front of his eyes.
i have never in my life felt so utterly helpless as to sit watching americans die on television, because he claimed he could not step in to save them. i will never, ever forgive him for that.
i sobbed when he invaded afghanistan. i sobbed when he invaded iraq. i have raged over guantanamo and habeus corpus. i was sickened over waterboarding and abu ghraib and extraordinary rendition. i felt violated by the warrantless wiretapping and deeply shamed by both his superb displays of blind, blithering ignorance and “christian” fundamentalism. as an expat, i have had to suffer the humiliation of having people believe i might have voted for him, and the blatant anti-americanism he managed to engender in so many countries around the world.
he is a liar, a corrupt and morally bereft politician, and a blood-soaked murderer.
how bad could it be? if only we had known. many people felt the “assault” by the iraqi journalist who threw his shoes at him was a grave crime against a world leader and head of state. i say if the worst thing that happened to bush after all his crimes against humanity was having to duck an errant shoe, then he got off pretty fucking lightly.
it has been 729 days. three more left until the nightmare is over.
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the older i get, the more easily disillusioned i become.
the last time i whinged about selling out i said:
And when blatant greed outweighs moral fibre, or loyalty to one’s beliefs, it’s hard to fathom the depths to which society has sunk in pursuit of the almighty dollar. art, music, film all plundered by conglomerates with no sense of sanctity or cultural reverence. and stars, writers, singers all eager to prostrate themselves at the temple of crass commercialism.
I don’t know why i still expect any semblance of moral rectitude – nothing is sacred and no one is immune. it just strikes me as a sad commentary on today’s society that the threshold for cashing in seems to get lower with every passing day.
but one of the last people i would ever have believed possible of selling out at that level would have been bruce springsteen.
bruce has built his musical career as an icon cum proxy spokesperson for the blue-collar, unionized, hardscrabble working class american. the flannel shirts and worn jeans and brow-sweaty bandanna are an integral part of his lyrical and physical imagery. many of his songs specifically reference the plight of the working poor, and he has deep ties to the protest songs of the 60s. he’s made no bones about his political leanings, his lyrics often reference a post-globalisation wasteland, and his 2004 record “devils & dust” was noted for its anti-corporate sentiments.
so imagine my surprise to learn that bruce has inked an exclusive deal with wal-mart to release his greatest hits album.
that’s right – walmart. the largest and most controversial anti-union employer, the most prominent worldwide symbol of exploitative labour practices and globalisation, the largest profiteer of outsourced american jobs, the most vocal anti-obama corporation.
i recently had a discussion with a friend of mine about veal. i said i don’t eat veal (or fois gras) because i believe it deliberately creates a market for animal suffering. he then played devil’s advocate, accusing my other meat-eating and leather-wearing tendencies of exemplifying hypocrisy. i said that while i understand that some people try to live completely vegan anti-cruelty lifestyles, i am not capable of such rigours in the world i inhabit. i cannot stand on principle against everything i find morally objectionable, and still live my life – and i don’t pretend to. my actions are specific and my parameters narrow. i pick and chose my battles, and do what i feel i can.
so i understand that sometimes we make compromises for the sake of profit or expediency or convenience.
however i don’t go around singing about the nastiness of veal, then sell my songs to a gigantic commercial cattle operation either.
and so this is more than a sellout. using kurt cobain’s image to sell sneakers is selling out. this is hypocrisy of the most repulsive kind. making your fortune by worshipping the working class hero, then undercutting him by doing a deal with the devil to line your pocket at the expense of american labour, is frankly, gross.
god, i remember when people used to stand for something.
i’m beginning to understand why so many old people are crotchety.
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the other day i was chatting with my new boss, and happened to mention my ex-husband. she was surprised to learn that i’d been married before, but even more so that i was proud of having been divorced. it may sound strange to hear someone use the word “proud” in relation to having been divorced, but it’s the only way to describe how i’ve come to feel about it.
g and i got together in 1991 when we were both 19. we got engaged after only a few short weeks of knowing each other, but didn’t actually get married until 5 years later. i was 24. four years later, we were divorced. i was 28, and we’d been together nearly one-third of my life. we parted as friends who still cared about each other, but we went our separate ways. he took the cats and i kept the dog.
what went wrong? the old cliche – we were too young when we got together, and we grew up to be different people than we’d expected. it was no one’s fault -though i was the one who initiated the divorce- but that didn’t make it any less painful. my parents had divorced very bitterly after 20 years of marriage, and i had sworn that would never happen to me. i would never get divorced. i would never allow my marriage to crumble.
and yet it did. no amount of therapy or force of will could stop it – we changed, and our relationship changed. as committed as we were to staying together, we couldn’t make it work. it felt like a deeply personal failure.
and that’s exactly how i viewed it initially: a colossal failure. i’d chosen wrong. i’d been unable to fix it. i’d wasted 9 years of my life. i’d invested 9 years in something which was fundamentally broken, then had nothing to show for it except heartache and a decree absolute. i was desolate.
and then at my 30th birthday, something shifted. g came to my birthday party as a surprise, and brought me a lovely kaleidoscope as a gift, knowing that i collected them. i remember looking at him thinking: this is a good man, someone kind and caring. after everything we’ve been through, how could i say my time with him was wasted? for nearly nine years, i’d loved him and he’d loved me – how could i ever consider that a failure? expressing regret was like wishing i hadn’t had that experience. and while there were some unhappy times, there was a lot of good, too – memories that i wouldn’t trade for anything. and even for all the pain of our breakup, there was also a strength that i’d found that i didn’t know i had. how could i possibly be sorry for any of that?
it was a turning point. for the first time, i was able to shed the shame i’d associated with being divorced, the guilt that i’d been carrying around that somehow i hadn’t been a good enough wife to make it work. the fear that i was faulty and doomed to loneliness. granting myself that acceptance allowed me to let go of the sadness and bitterness. i began instead to think of my relationship (and its end) in term of the lessons i’d learned about myself and marriage, and not just about the mistakes i’d made. i began to measure the growth i’d gone through – i’d figured out so much about who i was, and who i wanted to be. more than that, i was able to acknowledge that my relationship with g had had a profound impact on me – that those years and experiences were a part of me that i could not, and did not want to, divorce myself from. they made up part of who i was – and when it came down to it, i really liked who i was.
eight years later, g and i are still in touch to this day. he’s engaged to be remarried, and i’ve been remarried for a few years now. i credit much of the solidity of my current relationship to what i learned from being with g – and in that way, i view my first marriage as a success. we may not have been right for each other, but i am glad for the years that we were together, because both our marriage and our divorce truly did make me a better person. and so i say these days that i am proud to be divorced. while i wouldn’t wish for anyone else to have to go through it, ultimately it was good for both of us.
we didn’t fail at marriage – we succeeded at finding a new future that was right for us. as corny as that may sound, i wouldn’t have it any other way.
wolf parade – grounds for divorce
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all the forlorn discarded christmas trees – stripped down, barren, strewn along the pavement alongside the detritus of littered rubbish and dog poo. they make my heart ache.
he got offered a promotion 
such a smart boy.
today is the fifth anniversary of jen’s den, and i’m probably more surprised than anyone.
given the number of short-lived, aborted blogs floating around the ether, blog years have become a bit like dog years. in the five years since i first began writing this shortly after i returned to the uk for the long-term, i’ve seen two presidential elections, two red sox championships, two family weddings (including my own), and the birth of a new niece. i’ve been around the world, walked on hot coals, fallen in love, become a dual citizen, jumped off a bridge, and had three jobs. in many ways, i created a new life for myself from scratch, one that i’m happy to say is full beyond measure. and i chronicled much of it here.
a project that started out as a whim, has grown into a repository for so much of the most important stuff in my life. my imagination, my experiences, my disappointments and fears. whenever something good or bad happens in my life, i immediately turn to share it in this place and space.
this blog has become an archive of many of the things and thoughts that matter most to me. the more i add, the richer and more cherished it becomes.
important things happened before i started this blog, and important things will happen long after it ceases. but in the here and now, this is my record. if i were to die tomorrow, there would be friends and family to tell their stories of this time. but this, this is mine.
and that doesn’t matter much in the grand scheme of things – but it has come to matter an awful lot to me.
everything absent or distorted – a form to accommodate the mess
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we spent new year’s eve at our friends k&t’s flat, which was lovely – good food, good drink, good friends. and yet, a little part of me couldn’t help but wish we were celebrating back at our place.
our flat is really small; tiny, actually. it’s just livable for two – get more than 3 people in it, and it’s officially crowded. there are exactly 2 comfortable seats on the sofa, and too often guests end up cross-legged on the floor with pillows, like student dormitory refugees. if we have a couple over for dinner, we have to perform magic tricks with the expanding dining table, then collapse it back again after eating so that people can actually cross the room.
i charitably call it “cozy”. jonno calls it “claustrophobic”.
we’ve been here over two years now - it was our first place we’d picked out together, and i admit now that i probably always liked it more than he did. still, it’s been a pretty comfortable place for us – well located, nicely furnished (as furnished flats go), quiet.
lately jonno has been making noises about wanting to move. he points out that in the current housing market, we could probably get more for our money. loathe though i am to admit he’s right, even have to concede the point. and i’m also reaching that stage where all the little niggling irritations that you find in any living space, have built up to larger annoyances. the laissez-faire landlord which was initially a bonus, has now become aggravatingly difficult to reach for repairs. the double-glazing that keeps so much heat in, also turns our bathroom into a replica rainforest of moisture and moss. the tidy kitchen with its compact appliances and fridge, means we spend lots more time and money on frequent grocery shopping.
i’ve agreed, reluctantly, to begin looking for somewhere new, and we’ll probably move in a couple months time. which means this was likely our last new year in this flat.
so it felt a bit sad to be spending it elsewhere. because for all its faults, one of the amazing things about this flat has always been the view.
i shall miss that immensely.
something corporate – watch the sky
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so i’ve finally managed to migrate all my photos to the new domain name, along with a re-org and general tidying. nearly 3400 pics in all, with more to come (now that i’ve got a proper structure in place). there’s still a lot of tagging to do, but hopefully this is a much more managable system.
got all the morocco pics up here – have a gander.
i can’t decide if the fact that i started the new year without a hangover is a good omen or bad.
in the meantime, here’s a meme:
What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Yoga! it became my addiction this year. Much to J’s dismay as I commandeered the lounge every day for an hour.
Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Hellz no. I leave things behind in the year past and look forward to the year to come. Anything else is a waste of time.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
Amity had a lovely wee lad.
Did anyone close to you die?
Thank god, no. Please not this year either.
What places did you visit?
Vancouver, Istanbul, Boston/Cape, and Morocco. Not enough!
What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
More time with friends and family.
What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory?
23 january – the day i took my citizenship oath.
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Meeting my fundraising goal for UNICEF. I’m such a weenie about asking for money that really didn’t think I’d make it, and I was so very pleased when I did.
What was your biggest failure?
Failing to read more than a book a month. That’s pretty pathetic.
Did you suffer illness or injury?
my first trip ever to the emergency room. i thought i was dying. it was not fun.
What was the best thing you bought?
J’s birthday guitar. It’s pretty damn cool.
Whose behaviour merited celebration?
J’s – for putting up with my shit, day in, day out. The boy deserves a medal.
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Bush, of course. But honorable mention goes to fucking Home Secretary Jacqui Smith. Every time I turned around she was forcing more patent lies down the public throat, and proposing even further civil liberties infringements. Ugh.
Where did most of your money go?
That’s a mighty good question. Where *did* most of my money go?
What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The election of Obama. It still gets me all verklempt to think about the historic nature of his victory. There was much jumping about and screaming and crying.
What song(s) will always remind you of 2008?
time to pretend – mgmt. it was first song on my running playlist and never failed to get me going. which is good because i spent a lot of time running.
Compared to this time last year, are you:
Happier or sadder? Happier
Thinner or fatter? I decline to answer
Richer or poorer? Richer in experience, about the same in money.
What do you wish you’d done more of?
Travel. And sex. More sex is always good.
What do you wish you’d done less of?
Agonising about my shitty old job. I should have jumped ship long before I finally did.
What was the best book you read?
half of a yellow sun, by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. love stories interwoven with nigeria’s civil war. incredibly well written and thoroughly engrossing.
What did you want and get?
a new hard drive! j’s birthday present to me.
What did you want and not get?
a tan. really – this summer was sucktacular.
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
is it crass to say money?
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
“homage to jeans.” now that i can wear jeans to work, it’s damn hard to get me out of them.
What kept you sane?
Sanity is overrated.
What political issue stirred you the most?
the shameful media treatment of hillary clinton. i didn’t even see most of it, yet what i saw was truly repulsive.
Who did you miss?
all the usual suspects back home.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
Change is good.
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