today has been one of those days when i just want to be anywhere but here. that itch – that incipient compulsion to *change* that cannot and will not be ignored – has begun to crawl beneath the skin. at a certain point, once the idea of change has gained purchase and taken root, it only becomes more and more insistent – twitching at the edges of consciousness, presenting its shimmering mirage of alternatives every time frustration and annoyance arise. “this is what *could* be, if only…” and in comparison to the dream, everyday reality becomes even more disappointing, becoming a looping cycle which only amplifies itself, like feedback from a microphone. until finally, you have to just yank the plug.

the dream is never as dreamy as imagined, of course. but try telling that to the heartsick and weary soul looking for escape. i live in one of the biggest, most vibrant capitals in the world. yet every day, i feel myself retreating from this city – mentally and physically. more and more often, I find myself happy only when curled up at home, with my husband, in our cozy flat, with our cozy cat. and that’s fine every once in a while – but it’s no way to live.

for a long time now, i’ve held the practical plans of our projected move at bay, content merely to know that it was going to happen at some unspecified point in the future. no longer. j has enrolled us in french classes, our savings is slowly growing, the cat has an appointment for a microchip, and i’m ready to do whatever is necessary to bring this about as soon as possible.

some internal tipping point has been reached. let’s get this show on the road.

frisbie – let’s get started

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Like this post

Unlike