“it never rains but it pours.”

it’s been pouring here today. more than pouring – a violent lashing rain blowing under doorjambs, around window seals, down chimneys. a watery invasion, leaking in from around edges i wasn’t even aware of. this is marching in like a lion to be sure.

and it’s been pouring here as well. the list of things going wrong in the past few weeks continues to mount. a $1500 cheque is offically lost by my bank. the doctor who was supposed to refer me to another doctor, hasn’t – i have to go back to my gp and start again. the british psychological society still hasn’t evaluated my degree, and now that i’ve changed my plans i can’t get back the £100 i paid. work has, unbelievably, managed to get even worse, with no glimmer of any opportunities on the horizon. and this morning i awoke to the flat seeping water from all sides.

and me, helpless to stop it.

i know that these things arrive with a thunderclap and cloudburst. that sometimes life just sweeps you off your feet in an flash flood of problems, and there’s nothing to be done but to ride it out, surrender any illusions of control. and that eventually the storms will recede, and i will forget the sensation of drowning until the next time.

but today, i found myself caught in a downpour – soaked to the bone, face lifted in abject surrender to the sky, shivering and cursing the heavens.

jose gonzales – storm

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