exciting, informative, snarky, and very likely fabricated tales of life as an american expat in london

the “fuck you” i couldn’t say

by Jen at 5:18 pm on 19.02.2008 | 7 Comments
filed under: rant and rage

this is what i wish i could’ve said to the 25 year old twat of a doctor who spoke to me like a simpleton:

reproduction is not everything. the fact that i have no children is not simply happy coincidence. yes, i have thought about this a long time. approximately 4496 times… that’s the number of times i’ve taken a pill every day in the past 16 years to not get pregnant.

i know my own mind, and will always know my own mind, better than any doctor or medical system… that seems to think i can’t possibly know my own mind until after i’ve had a child. because they seem to think having a child first is a good way to decide if you *really don’t* want one.

my husband, dear as he is, does not get a say over my body. if i decide i don’t want kids, and he has a problem with that decision, that is his problem to work out with me. not my problem to work out with my doctor.

yes, i am defensive – you’re telling me i don’t know what i know. you’re telling me that you know better than i do. you’re judging my ability to make important decisions in my life. my life. which *i* (and only i) have to live. i’ve thought about possible regrets, and i’ve thought about alternatives. i’ve done my research, i’ve considered my options. it’s not your job to save me from regrets. it’s your job to help me control my fertility.

i don’t need your permission to get pregnant. but apparently i need your approval not to.

and i can’t even get angry with you, because you hold the key to what i want.

Unlike
7 Comments »

7 Comments

  • 1

    Comment by Nicole

    19.02.2008 @ 21:18 pm

    What happened???

  • 2

    Comment by Avril

    20.02.2008 @ 12:28 pm

    Wow!

  • 3

    Comment by vanessa

    21.02.2008 @ 02:59 am

    holy shit.

  • 4

    Comment by Tabitha

    23.02.2008 @ 03:06 am

    That’s just wrong. mad

  • 5

    Comment by Jen

    23.02.2008 @ 15:06 pm

    thanks guys. the thing that burns me up is that if i were to get pregnant and ask for an abortion, it would be completely unethical for a doctor to tell me “maybe you’ll change your mind”. it’s a decision which is just as irrevocably permanent, yet somehow that’s a better scenario than telling you upfront that i don’t want children?

  • 6

    Comment by Erin

    23.02.2008 @ 17:46 pm

    I felt really angry reading this. What is with the male mindset that women are completely unable to make their own decisions?

    I hope you get the outcome you want without to much more hassle.

  • 7

    Comment by Jen

    23.02.2008 @ 17:54 pm

    sadly, this was a *woman* doctor.

RSS feed for comments on this post