so as good as the trip to vancouver was, it has stirred up all sorts of conflicting feelings for me – tapped into that deep well of dissatisfaction that’s always roiling just beneath the deceptively smooth surface. i had just started on my plans to get my masters degree, had resigned myself to being here for another few years, had just applied for a new job.

and now…

i want to go now. yesterday, really. the thought of staying put another few years makes me want to cry. i feel crushed, trapped, ground down by this city. and now, having caught a glimpse of what life could be like, being back here feels like being pushed back into a cage.

i need to get out, i know that much.

i just don’t know how.

death cab for cutie – the sound of settling

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