there are a few big projects underway this weekend at jen’s den. i’m in the process of transfering all my photos, new and old, over to their own subdomain (which i’ve been doing in a half-assed way up til now – sloppy, sloppy, sloppy), doing an upgrade of my photo gallery software, and upgrading wordpress.

doing all this on my own is more than a little nervewracking, because i know just enough to be dangerous, but not enough to fix things if i really screw them up (except for the obvious de-install, and re-install the backup files). and there’s always something – some bizarre error message will pop up, or formatting goes haywire, and i have a panic attack. my heart starts racing while i try desperately to identify and rectify the problem, madly searching support forums and guidance docs, all the while cursing my need to “fuck with that which ain’t broke”. i struggle through eventually, and always swear i’ll never touch a php file again.

the wonderful part about hosting my own blog is that i can do whatever i want with it. the downside is that i am flying by the seat of my pants, learning from my mistakes as i go along, and often getting amateurish results.

i *am* learning though. it’s only when i find myself helping others out, or explaining how to do certain things that i realise just how much i have learned over the past few years. and i’m really pleased about that – i’ll never be a web designer, but i may one day be a halfway competent web mistress. that’s more than i ever expected.

still, there are some days when i would pay any amount of money to just have someone come fix it. i have a feeling saturday or sunday may be one of those days.

(so please excuse any weirdness you may encounter over the weekend and ignore the dust!)

jamiroquai – virtual insanity

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christmas is fast approaching – and though j and i won’t be doing xmas gifts (as we’ve got a big ski holiday in vancouver booked for feb.) it *is* still my birthday. so i thought i’d put together a list, just in case anyone happens to be reading

i totally covet this molecule jewelery. the choker is divine, but i’d settle for the “peace” necklace.

i’ve also really wanted this brilliant tripod ever since getting my new camera a few months ago

this marc jacobs perfume used to be my signature scent… until i ran out. and that was more than a year ago now. they say it’s “a modern take on the classic scent of gardenia, counterpointed by the sensuality of creamy musk”. all i know is that it smells like heaven.

for anyone in the states who wishes to gift me, you could make me a very happy camper by sending me some l’oreal feria copper shimmer hair dye. i’ve been using it for years, and now they’ve stopped selling in the u.k. so i’m stockpiling all i can.

this mca snow portfolio ipod case, which i have loved so much that i wore out the snap on it. i originally bought it from the apple store, but it’s out of stock there now i could attach it to my camelbak for running or my messenger bag for commuting, i could charge my ipod without taking it out, flip it down to use the clickwheel without taking it off – it was fantastic.

and there you have it. i’m easy to please, and i don’t really need anything, so in spite of appearances, this is not an attempt to milk the whole birthday thing. i’m just trying to help those people who *insist* on buying me something, purely as a public service, mind you

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it’s december. it’s the month when the incursion of darkness reaches oppressive fullness, before finally, mercifully, beginning its slow retreat into light. the month when the totality of the previous 364 days is totted up, weighed and measured against the frayed dreams of a previous year, before ticking over a fresh new page of hope. it’s the month when old things die and new things are born into being. it’s the month when i shed one number and turn to meet the next – last year’s version is no more and the new me is not, in fact, newer, but rather older.

new into old into new is an improbably miraculous sort of alchemy – and yet it happens every year.

but like an unexpected bloom in winter, it never fails to take my breath away.

loney, dear – warm, dark, comforting night

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winter

just for fun. featuring zeke the gymmast, zeke the soccer player, zeke the porn star and zeke the fly-eater.

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for all those of us whose lives have been touched by hiv/aids – and there are far too many of us.

another year, another post about world aids day.

i’ve been observing world aids day here on this blog for four years now.

since last year, another 2 million people have died.

320,000 people died in south africa
220,000 died in nigeria
180,000 died in zimbabwe
140,000 died in kenya
140,000 died in mozambique
140,000 died in tanzania

by comparison, 16,000 died in the u.s.

twice as many people die of flu in the u.s., as do from aids.

it’s become the forgotten epidemic only because westerners with good healthcare stopped dying.

but 95% of those infected live in the developing world, and for those living in areas without access to antiretroviral drugs, hiv is still a cruel death sentence. people in those countries are not “living with hiv” – they’re dropping like flies.

then consider that another 2.5 million people became infected this year, and nearly one half million of those were children. how many of them have to die before we stop this madness?

we continue to let this happen, year after year. next year i’ll be reporting on another 2 million dead, maybe more. it’s so overwhelming, no wonder we try to push it out of out minds.

so this year, i’m asking you to please read a blog post by charlotte – a south african expat living in germany, who helps tell just one story about just one person with aids, in a country where almost half of all deaths are from aids.

if 2 million is too hard to wrap your brain around, this year remember just one person.

and then do something for them.

guided by voices – hold on hope

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world aids day