diving into my own destruction
I spent all day cleaning the house – I mean scouring, scrubbing, dusting, hoovering, mopping, washing. Every nook and every cranny is clean enough to eat out of. Our flat is pretty small, but it hadn’t had a deep clean in a while, so this took some effort.
After it was all done, I “treated” myself to a bath. The problem being that, while I try to convince myself that I enjoy baths, I actually don’t. In a bath-obsessed country like England, admitting this amounts to heresy.
There are a lot of reasons I don’t enjoy baths, the first of which is that the tub needs to be scrubbed both before and after a bath, thereby negating any supposed relaxing effects. There is nothing more disgusting than soaking in the tub only to see an unfamiliar stray hair float by. Thus, the tub must be pristine before bathing.
Secondly, drawing a bath is an art form that I’ve never really mastered. Getting the water the perfect temperature, with just the right amount of bubbles seems to be neigh on impossible for me. And a tub just takes sooooo long to fill. Then I hop in, and it’s either too warm, so my face gets all sweaty and sticky, or it’s too cold and I’m shivering before I can even get out.
Thirdly, there’s a definite order to the ablutions which I am always forgetting. If the hair needs washing, this must be done *first* before anything else. Instead, I’m forever sliding around trying to shave my legs, pumice my feet, loofah the elbows… only to then be faced with washing my hair in the cloudy scum of soap, stubble, and dead skin.
Fourthly, what exactly are you supposed to *do* in a bath? Reading material only gets wet. There are no outlets in the bathrooms in the UK, so no radio can be plugged in. Lying around is meant to feel luxurious I suppose, but I can’t help being bored, hot, and aware of stewing in my own filth. (Though I did manage to come up with the idea for this blog post whilst waterlogged in the tub.)
I think from now on I’ll stick to showers.
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Comment by amity
4.11.2007 @ 00:03 am
I used to bring my laptop into the bathroom and watch episodes of Sex And The City while smoking and drinking red wine. Now, I just read and daydream. It’s key to keep a towel at arm’s reach so you can dry your hands as needed. Books don’t get wet unless you have the bath too full, or you could get one of those caddy things that goes across the bath that you can rest a book and even a drink and a candle on.
I agree about the bath having to be pristine though. I shall be having my weekly Sunday bath tomorrow and that is why ’scrubbing the bathroom day’ is *also* on Sunday. Nothing grosses me out like wet hair, especially if it isn’t mine.
Comment by Jen
4.11.2007 @ 08:17 am
ah yes, i think you and i have compared notes on the hair thing. you would *not* want to see what i pulled out of the drain yesterday – i gagged!
Comment by Stacey
5.11.2007 @ 04:02 am
Wow, this is so cool because you just described EXACTLY how I feel about baths, and everyone I’ve ever said it to has said that I just wasn’t doing it right, etc. So I figured I was absolutely alone in my feelings of wrong-temperature-I’m-bored-this-sucks. Not alone!
Comment by andrea
5.11.2007 @ 22:26 pm
i, like my sis, enjoy setting up the laptop in the bathroom and watching a movie, tv episodes, etc. while soaking. the key for me is to have a glass (or bottle) of red at arm’s length, lights off, scented candles burning, bath salts fizzing and a small towel that i can soak with warm water and lay over my chest and shoulders (i think tubs here in the US tend to be a little more shallow than they are in the UK). i get very grossed out by the thought of soaking in my own dirt, though, so i always spray off with the shower head after i’m done.
Comment by Jen
5.11.2007 @ 22:32 pm
stacey – you and i are kindred bath spirits!
andrea – if it’s all the same, i’d rather have my wine whilst dry and cosy on the couch!
Comment by Amity
5.11.2007 @ 22:46 pm
if it’s all the same, i’d rather have my wine whilst dry and cosy on the couch!
I will not drink wine in the bath
I will not drink wine and do math
I will not drink wine in the tub
I will not drink wine while I scrub
Comment by Jen
5.11.2007 @ 22:48 pm
ooooh, wine and math!!? never!
(thank you dr. seuss!)
Comment by Tabitha
7.11.2007 @ 05:13 am
You and Stacey must be my long lost… something. Another here who doesn’t “get” baths for the very same reasons you listed. I always feel bored and like an animal in the wild, don’t want to hang around in my own mess.
Comment by Jen
7.11.2007 @ 21:38 pm
yay! i am not alone!!