exciting, informative, snarky, and very likely fabricated tales of life as an american expat in london

i cross the streets without fear

by Jen at 11:58 pm on 30.06.2007Comments Off
filed under: londonlife

well, now. this is just getting altogether too annoying.

i was at a birthday party this evening when it all came on the news. and of course, we all immediately started taking the piss – because, i mean… what else are you going to do? there is nothing *to* do. nothing you change about the way you live will change this reality. and so, we all kept joking and drinking and a girl left the party early to go pack for her scheduled holiday flight for tomorrow morning.

life just keeps going on, even when everything is exploding around you. something londoners (through the blitz, through the i.r.a. years, through the tube attacks and recent bombings/attempted bombings) have known for a long time, but which i now feel i truly understand.

Cibelle w/ Devendra Banhart – London, London

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back to the drawing board

by Jen at 6:22 pm on 29.06.2007Comments Off
filed under: rant and rage

and just like that, enforced school desegregation is over.

boston bussing
image of boston bussing courtesy of pbs

coming from boston, where desegregration of all white schools only occurred in the mid-seventies via bussing, and racial tensions ran so high that there were near riots, i fear what this means for the education system. the disparity between the schools which have, and the schools which have not is already so high. urban inner-city schools (read: majority minority schools) are already left to fester, while schools funded by high property taxes in the burbs flourish. the problem is that in big cities, it remains nearly impossible to separate issues of race from the socio-economic forces which continue to lead to greater levels of impoverishment amongst minorities. so you can’t make decisions which eliminate race as a factor without subsequently redressing the rest of the imbalances.

pretending the playing field is level, won’t make it so. and it’s the children who’ll suffer for our folly.

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pretend it’s television, where the good guys always win

by Jen at 5:48 pm on | 2 Comments
filed under: londonlife

i suppose i should mention the little wannabe suicide car bomb we had here in london - except that tackling that topic seems so tremendously tiring right about now. blah blah blah, al qaeda, blah blah blah, terrorism, blah blah blah, high alert.

a former expat reported that in her workplace, where there are little televisions which scroll news blurbs, it was summarised this way:

“US officials are closely watching a London car bomb situation but have determined that it will not impact the US.”

typical.

ted leo and the pharmacists – bomb.repeat.bomb (yes, i know it’s crass. whatever.)

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MTA; well now, even though i kept checking in on this story all day, it turns out it was actually *2* car bombs, which i didn’t hear about until late this evening. eh. one, two, a dozen… it’s all the same. and of course, cctv will help them catch the evil-doers.

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thinking myself in a hole

by Jen at 10:20 pm on 28.06.2007Comments Off
filed under: mutterings and musings

i miss jonno, for all the usual reasons: the curl of an arm through the night, spontaneous hilarity, dependable kisses.

more than that, though, i’m just not very good on my own. anyone who knows me knows how antsy i can get in my skin, how boring i find my own company. given my druthers, i’d almost always rather be around people than alone, left to the humdrum predictability of my solitude. some people need personal space and time – i’ve never been one of them. but more than boredom or loneliness, i fall into bad habits given too much solitude. i get morose and obsessive, prone to behaving in ways i would never consider doing in front of other people. i find myself sliding into gloom and hypercriticism, and everything gets all distorted and just plain unhealthy. it doesn’t help that every time i’ve been on my own for prolonged periods of time, i’ve been depressed – is that coincidence or causality? does it matter if the end result is that i equate being alone with being neurotic? i recognise it, but seem helpless to stop it. it’s as if, given nothing but myself to focus my attentions on, i put myself under a microscope and then berate myself for all my imperfections. spending too much time looking inward, i lose sight of the big picture. and somehow having someone else around that loves me in spite of my flaws, or even because of them, keeps everything in perspective. i need the lens of another person’s eyes to correct my own vision.

i realise all of this makes me sound pretty off kilter – and it occurs to me that perhaps this is just an example of me being hypercritical of my hypercriticism. after all, around other people, i do pass for (quasi)normal most of the time, so i can’t be that warped. ( < -- once again, i need to think about how others see me in order to determine how i see myself :roll:)

i've often called j my anchor, but more accurately, he's my rudder that keeps me from veering wildly off course. i am a kinder, gentler version of me around him, and seeing who i really am as reflected through his love is probably what i love most about myself. without that, it feels like looking in a funhouse mirror - which is really no fun at all.

one week down, only two to go.

ben folds five – best imitation of myself

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no voice of mine

by Jen at 4:50 pm on 27.06.2007Comments Off
filed under: londonlife, mutterings and musings

and with very little fanfare, the UK has a new prime minister from today. under the parliamentary system, gordon brown takes over from tony blair as the leader of the majority labour party, and therefore de facto becomes the head of the national government.

i’m still getting used to all this parliamentary stuff. there are certain aspects of it i really like. this isn’t one of them. i still have that deep-seated need to elect a person as opposed to a party. i need to know that i get what i signed on for – not that halfway through i’ll be provided a relief pticher in lieu of the person i actually wanted to lead the country. it feels like bait-and-switch. and while i vehemently disagreed with blair’s stance on many things, overall i was still a member of the fan base. this gordon brown character leaves me cold, and i haven’t been around long enough to know much about his views and priorities. so basically, we’re all supposed to take it on faith that he’ll stay true to the party line everyone bought at the polls just two years ago.

still, the lack of pomp and circumstance around the whole thing is rather refreshing. when my dad was here visiting this spring, he was surprised to learn that a former prime minister is not accorded the same exalted status as a former president. while they’re certainly granted privileges and honours, they’re seen much more as former-public-servants-turned-private-citizens. many even continue on in politics as members of parliament – something which would be unthinkable for a former president to do. having reached the pinnacle of political achievement, presidents don’t then go back to being a congressional representative – instead they build their libraries and visit their ranches, and continue to be surrounded by the secret service, and write their biographies, and take on the occasional public speaking event. they don’t go back to worrying about showing up for votes or stumping the campaign trail.

so it’ll be interesting to see what we get under gordon brown, but thus far he’s not been heaped with praise. to me he remains a largely unknown quanitity and his promise of “new priorities” has me a little unnerved. come next general election, will he get my vote?

the apples in stereo – same old drag

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rain, rain, go away

by Jen at 8:52 pm on 26.06.2007 | 4 Comments
filed under: mundane mayhem

it’s nearly july, and yet it feels like october outside. dreary and cool and wet. i took monday and friday off for a long weekend, thinking i’d relax and hang out on the balcony or in the park, catch a few rays while reading a book and sipping a bloody mary.

not a prayer of sunshine. which is pretty typical, really for british summer. add to that the fact that it was the glastonbury festival this weekend, and the start of wimbledon on monday, and you could practically bet your life on rain. foolish timing on my part. i really should know better by now. no wonder i haven’t got my citizenship yet – clearly i don’t deserve it, based on such a newbie mistake.

the lack of sustained sunshine, even in the height of the summer season leads to a unique phenomenon in these parts: the oompaloompa metamorphosis. perfectly normal looking people become transformed into bright tangerine cariacatures, all thanks to buckets of cheap self-tanner, and what i can only presume is a lack of access to light and reflective surfaces. it’s really astounding to see hoardes of otherwise sensible women turning themselves into navel oranges.

oompaloompa

it’s like the christina aguilera look, only worse – all the more false because there’s absolutely no hope in hell of pretending you got it in san tropez, instead of a pay per hour sunbed at the council leisure centre.

ryan adams – rainy days

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now you’ve just been spoken for

by Jen at 6:21 pm on 25.06.2007 | 3 Comments
filed under: rant and rage

I’m far from a patriotic person, but the longer I’m here, the more annoyed I get at the gross generalisations about America.

When I first moved here, just after the start of the Iraq war, I felt like I had to be a bit of an apologist for my country, always ready to disavow the war, the re-election of bush, the downward diplomatic spiral the u.s. government has seemed hellbent on accelerating for the past 4 years.

And so perhaps i also felt in many ways that america deserved the slagging off it was getting in the media and public opinion. i occasionally even joined in, because it felt good to talk about politics i knew, to reach common ground with people. they didn’t understand me, and i didn’t understand them, but we both understood that the u.s. sucked.

but as the years crawl on, my eyes have been opened to just how widespread and virulent anti-american sentiment really is. it’s not just about the war, or george bush. most news about the states is cast in a disparaging light, with inferred eye rolling and a tinge of smug superiority. anything brits adopt which originated in the u.s. is scornfully derided as the “americanisation of britain”, often with a sense of alarm. the stereotypes about loud, fat, dumb, insular americans run rampant.

Don’t get me wrong, Americans can generalise as well, and America has more than its ample share of faults and foibles. But often it seems to be open season on America, as if it’s the sole symbol of all that’s excessive and brash about the west. As if we somehow have a patent on being rude or crass or excessive.

believe me when i tell you that america has not got the market cornered on being overweight, borish, consumerist or even (need i point out) imperialist. we’re in good company with our “special relationship” friends. to sling trite insults or facile prejudices around simply because it’s fashionable to do so says much more about the slinger than the slingee. it’s a diversionary tactic which enables them to avoid having to look too closely at the growing problems here in their own country. the sedentary, high-fat lifestyle is alive and well here – americans may have invented mcdonald’s but no one is forcing it down the brits throats at gunpoint. the dumbing-down of society and the media which feeds it is also hardly a uniquely american phenomenon – xenophobic, right-wing, sensationalist rags posing as newspapers are, i would argue comparable to anything fox news churns out in the u.s. and british tourists may spend more time in other european countries than their american counterparts, but from my experience are more obnoxious, unadventurous and inebriated – hardly ambassadors of culture.

i could go on, but it’s almost tangential to the point. which is simply that, while we may have deservingly brought some well-earned criticism upon ourselves, brits too often set america up as a straw man. and it’s easy to take potshots, because we are a big target, and there’s almost no one on this side of the pond willing to offer a different perspective, let alone wade through the morass of factual inaccuracies.

i ain’t defending america – but i’m sick of ill-informed people shooting their mouths off, and passing it off as erudite political commentary, or even news.

so it’s refreshing to run across this, even if it is a bit pollyanna-ish and errs too far on the side of the hollywood image that’s so often portrayed (and just as incorrect in its stereotyping as the knee-jerk critics). still, it’s nice to read something, hell *anything* complementary. as she says, “disdaining Americans has become a national sport, regardless of the fact that it requires the skill of all sports involving fish, guns and barrels.”

i’ll take it where i can get it.

(if you want to get a gander at some of the less savoury elements of anti-americanism that exist here, read the comments – utterly depressing.)

no doubt – hateful (clash cover)

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the noble savage strikes out on her own

by Jen at 2:07 pm on | 1 Comment
filed under: blurblets, family and friends

been helping my friend amity for the past few days make the giant leap from blogger to wordpress. it’s not been without its growing pains and poor amity has had a pretty steep learning curve, but the rough structure is there for her to play around with and make it truly her own. there’s something incredibly freeing and creative about doing your own thing that’s very rewarding.

welcome to the weird and wonderful world of wordpress, amity!

go on over there and tell her how fantastic it is )

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public service announcement

by Jen at 11:38 pm on 23.06.2007Comments Off
filed under: mundane mayhem

photos are undergoing a radical change here at jen’s den. check out the work in progress behind the scenes and let me know what you think

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b-o-r-e-d

by Jen at 7:11 pm on | 2 Comments
filed under: blurblets, mundane mayhem

it’s 7 pm on a saturday evening. i’m so bored. why did i never learn how to entertain myself as a child?

the past three weekends, i’ve had the urge to go to the movies. and of course, is there anything worth spending £8 on in the cinema? not a fucking thing.

books are putting me to sleep, television is a wasteland, i’ve been to all my favourite websites three times, all the shops are closed, and the house is spotlessly clean.

lordy, what the hell am i gonna do for the next three weeks?! someone save me from myself!

less than jake – history of a boring town

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the longest day

by Jen at 10:07 pm on 21.06.2007 | 1 Comment
filed under: mundane mayhem, photo

Slowly the west reaches for clothes of new colors
which it passes to a row of ancient trees.
You look, and soon these two worlds both leave you
one part climbs toward heaven, one sinks to earth.

leaving you, not really belonging to either,
not so hopelessly dark as that house that is silent,
not so unswervingly given to the eternal as that thing
that turns to a star each night and climbs–

leaving you (it is impossible to untangle the threads)
your own life, timid and standing high and growing,
so that, sometimes blocked in, sometimes reaching out,
one moment your life is a stone in you, and the next, a star.

“Sunset” – Rainer Maria Rilke

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things that make me feel old

by Jen at 11:05 pm on 20.06.2007 | 4 Comments
filed under: mundane mayhem

back when i was 11, i spent a whole year being ridiculously addicted to the soap opera general hospital. i got turned on to it by a babysitter, and started rushing home from school every day to watch it at 3:00 pm as if my life depended on it. something about the unapologetically over-the-top storylines and sanitised romance appealed to my pre-pubescent sensibilities. combine that with a raging crush on jack wagner (”frisco”) and i was hooked.

anyway, i watched obsessively for a whole year, but at a certain point they introduced a plot about alien abduction that even i, in my slavish willingness to suspend disbelief, could not abide. and so i just stopped watching one day, and decided to get a life.

still, i remember a child actor of about 5 on the show as the character “robin scorpio”.

and here’s “robin scorpio” today. a full on, badly dressed adult, courtest of the eminent go fug yourself.

i’m getting seriously creaky.

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comfort on my mind, with me all the time

by Jen at 7:07 pm on | 2 Comments
filed under: mutterings and musings

jonno leaves for south africa for three weeks tomorrow. he booked the tickets about a month ago, and since then, i’ve had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach every time i think about the approaching departure date.

part of it is plain ol’ jealousy – i’d love to go with him, but with my own trip to the states booked in august, it just doesn’t make any financial sense. instead, i have to go to loathesome, dragsome, detestable *work* every day, while he gets to hang out with his family and friends drinking beer in the sun.

but also: i will miss him. it’s hard to fathom, but we’ve not spent more than a few days apart since we first got together. right after we first met, i went on holiday to rome, and we spent the entire week sending pathetic text messages across the continent, messages full of desperate longing, messages i still have in safekeeping to this day. and even on our travels, when we were attached at the hip 24/7 for 6 straight months, we never got sick of each other. we shared closet-sized hostel rooms and even smaller campervans. our current apartment is so small we’re almost constantly within arm’s reach of each other. it feels unnatural to breathe un-jonno-breathed air.

when you’re used to being continuously in each other’s space, three weeks with no one on the other side of the bed is a long time. the phantom limb of an empty pillow.

don’t get me wrong – i’m fine with being alone. i’m not one of those girls that keeps mace under her mattress and barricades the door when there’s no man around. i can go to movies, museums, restaurants by myself and be perfectly happy. i can find the fusebox and the water mains, even if i can’t reach stuff on the high shelves.

and i’m trying to remind myself of all the positives of an uncompromising lifestyle. eating poptarts and salad for dinner, watching whatever i want on telly. no one complaining about my penchant for reading in bed, no tea cups left on the floor. and i’ve got several diversions lined up to keep me from turning into a hermit with unshaven legs and dirty pyjama pants.

i’m not convinced that absence necessarily increases fondness. instead i think it simply emphasises the space left behind by the missing, like a puzzle piece described by its empty relief.

i suppose that’s what i’m dreading so much. the emptiness of the jonno-less space, missing its matching piece, yearning for the part of me that’s not there.

thank god for skype.

amy winehouse – wake up alone

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i’m sure there are more productive ways to spend my time

by Jen at 10:40 pm on 19.06.2007Comments Off
filed under: blurblets, mundane mayhem

… but nothing quite so curiously satisfying as an evening spent organising my itunes catalogue.

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see? i’m not as crazy as i sound

by Jen at 10:10 pm on Comments Off
filed under: rant and rage

i know i go on and on about erosion of privacy issues. but finally: proof i’m not alone in my google-paranoia!

Most people missed the announcement about how Google wants to burrow inside your brain and capture your most intimate thoughts. That’s because it never happened.

But Google, the world leader in Web search services, is the focus of mounting paranoia over the scope of its powers as it expands into new advertising formats from online video to radio and TV, while creating dozens of new Internet services.

As people spend more time online and realize just how much information Google is collecting about their habits and interests, the fear develops that true or false revelations of the most personal, embarrassing or even intrusive kind are no more than a Web search away.

Also last month, Google took a big step to unify its different categories of Internet search — for images, news, books, Web sites, local information, video — in one service.

Unified Search offers no information not already available on Google, but by putting it all in one place, it is turning up sometimes disconcerting links between previously unconnected types of data.

New rules are needed to fend off governments which might try to force companies to divulge customer data, Google argues. It fought off just such a court request by U.S. authorities last year and argues that for the limited purposes it keeps customers’ data, it is a reliable custodian.

samiam – search and destroy (stooges cover)

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they’ve always got a pound to buy their round

by Jen at 10:34 pm on 18.06.2007 | 6 Comments
filed under: eclectica, londonlife

second most expensive city in the world? london. i’ve never experienced king-of-the-mountain moscow, but i’ve visited a few of the top 50 and wholeheartedly agree with the assessment. hell, i live here and sometimes *i* don’t know how i afford it.

i also have the unique experience of having lived in the cheapest city on the list: asuncion, paraguay. talk about a study in contrasts.

related anecdote: asuncion is the friendliest place i’ve been and conversely, london is the least friendly.

(these lists seem to come out every few weeks, and each uses its own arbitrary criteria… but i trust this one, because it uses nyc as its benchmark – a place where i’ve often said you have to be either young and stupid, or old and rich to move to.)

hall and oates – rich girl

yes, i’ve just revealed my shameful secret love of hall and oates. go ahead: mock me. i don’t care.

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shocking

by Jen at 5:18 pm on 17.06.2007 | 4 Comments
filed under: blurblets, mundane mayhem

been on an reorganising kick today, and was shoving a bunch of lightbulbs back into the closet when my hand accidentally brushed against the loose end of a (what i now know to be live) wire.

zing! involuntary scream, hand sizzling, lightbulbs shattering everywhere.

j came running around the corner and i just burst into tears. i’ve never had a shock like that before – aside from the sickening jolt, it really scared me.

and here a half hour later, my hand still aching and three small burn marks in the shape of a triangle, like some sort of alien branding.

j suggested suing the landlord. luckily, i’m not quite *that* american.

catherine wheel – sparks are gonna fly

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no, i have no idea what celeriac is either

by Jen at 11:14 am on | 2 Comments
filed under: mundane mayhem, now *that's* love

last night k & t came over for dinner. this is pretty much a standing weekly event, where we take turns hosting and cooking and picking up bad videos and drinking too much wine. [aside: the informal wine experiment continues with disastrous results - i had two glasses of white wine last night and had a headache even before i went to bed, as well as upon waking this morning.] i always cook when it’s our turn, mostly because i really enjoy cooking (i am surpisingly domestic/ated) and partly because j’s idea of a good meal is one where he expends the least amount of energy possible getting edible food into his mouth. he’s a guy like that. but i was really tired, so i asked him to organise dinner, fully expecting we’d end up feasting on j’s old standby of prepackaged fresh pasta, sauce from a jar, and frozen garlic bread.

you could have knocked me over with a feather when he said, “maybe i’ll make some duck.”

and so we went to the shop, laid in the provisions (my jaw nearly hit the floor when he told me with a genuine tinge of disappointment that he was sadly unable to find celeriac), and when k & t arrived, the three of us drank and played yahtzee while j toiled away at the stovetop. it was wonderfully relaxing to be able to carry on a proper conversation with friends, rather than inattentively saying, “uh, huh”, “uh huh” whilst trying to juggle boiling/frying/slicing all at once. it was the height of luxury to actually be able to sit and enjoy my wine, instead of taking hasty gulps at my glass in between stirring and dicing.

and what j brought to the table was a revelation: roasted duck breast with cherry sauce, spinach mashed potatoes and side vegetables. it was *good*.

so a) clearly all the cookery shows we’ve been watching have been brainwashing him to good effect and b) he will no longer be able to get away with serving up frozen fish and chips and calling it dinner. the boy can cook.

a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

the beastie boys – finger lickin’ good

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world music for the weekend

by Jen at 9:24 pm on 15.06.2007Comments Off
filed under: tunage

latin and african rhythms, all rolled up in one.



MP3 playlist (M3U)

here’s the Podcast feed: Subscribe.


quantic and nickodemus – mi swing es tropical
babaloo -Samba Formosa
miriam makeba – Pata Pata
antibalas afrobeat orchestra – Hypocrite

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news from the neighbourhood

by Jen at 6:16 pm on Comments Off
filed under: mundane mayhem

just around the corner from my flat:

A murder inquiry has been launched after a man was stabbed to death at a takeaway in south-west London.

Police were called to the Chicken Cottage on Upper Tooting Road, Tooting, at about 0200 BST where they found the man suffering from stab wounds.

more pleasant news just around the corner of my flat:

a sign in a storefront reads, “polish store coming soon”.

yummmmm, that means pierogies!

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revisiting sociology 101

by Jen at 6:10 pm on Comments Off
filed under: rant and rage

back in uni, i took a course called sociology of crime. i don’t claim to remember much from it, but one of the things that really stuck in my head was when we started to examine the statistics of race and crime. my professor explained that there were two ways of looking at the disproportionately high number of people of colour represented in arrrests/convictions/incarceration figures, as compared to the proportion they make up of the general population. a) the first, is to assume that people of colour engage in more crime. b) the second is to examine whether people of colour are disproportionately scrutinised due to beliefs grounded in previous assumption a.

which is why this is a perfect example of why examining perceptions about race and crime are so important.

Black community in crime ‘crisis’. Parts of the UK’s black community face a “serious crisis” with young people becoming involved in crime, MPs say.

The Commons home affairs committee said the number of black men in the criminal justice system was “unacceptable”.

It blamed social exclusion, absent fathers, lack of positive role models and real or perceived racial discrimination by the authorities.

Committee chairman John Denham said there was no evidence young black people committed more crime than other groups.

The report said there was “evidence to support allegations of direct or indirect discrimination in policing and the youth justice system”.

But it added: “The perception as well as the reality of discrimination has an impact.

Black people make up 2.7% of the UK population aged 10 to 17, but represent 8.5% of those in that age group arrested in England and Wales, the report said.

And it found that three in four young black men would soon be on the national DNA database.

“This is not only a crisis for the black community, its a crisis for the whole of society,” said a CRE spokesman.

y’know, that last sentence is the smartest thing in the whole article.

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