since the beginning of the year, i’ve been walking during my lunch hour. usually i go along with a colleague friend of mine, and we talk about socialism and work and life. some days we can’t co-ordinate our schedules, so i walk alone.

i walk across vauxhall bridge, past millbank, along the waters edge following the thames, up to the houses of parliament, westminster abbey, big ben. i skirt all the tourists stopped in the middle of the pavement pointing their cameras upward, around the metal barriers and cops. then i walk across westminster bridge, past the london eye and the aquarium, i walk around all the pedestrian traffic heading for big ben, walk past the souvenir stands, down the other side of the thames, past albert embankment and the imperial war museum, past the big imposing mi5 building, and back to my office.

there’s a guy directly across from the houses of parliament. his name is brian haw, and i see him every day because he’s camped there. for almost 6 years now, he’s been in front of the government, staring them down, watching the mps that arrive and leave throughout the week. he’s there trying to stop the war in iraq. he has a tent, a small cohort of supporters that come along in shifts, and his handmade placards. he has a bullhorn, and every once in a while, he uses it to let people know. day after day, he’s there with his conscience and his pride and little else. they’ve passed laws to try to remove him, stolen his property, harrassed him and ignored him. every day they ignore him, and every day he stays in spite of it. holding out hope that they can’t ignore him forever.

and every time i see him, i wonder if there’s anything i would give up years of my life for. if, in spite of all my noise, i’m no different than the people who pass him every day. who see him without seeing. who never walk the walk. i’m both inspired and ashamed by his simple act of commitment to something he believes is worth sacrificing everything for. unwavering dedication in the face of overwhelming defeat. brian haw will never save anyone’s life, in spite of all his passion. yet he shows up with the same amount of it, day after day. goes to bed with it. eats it, breathes it, lives it.

he puts me to shame – and some days, i find myself averting my eyes when i get to parliament square.

it’s easier to look away than look inside.

(photo via parliament-square.org.uk)

song of the day: nikka costa – push and pull 

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