Dearest J -

Last year on our anniversary I wrote:

i never would have picked j as someone who was exactly perfect for me. but he’s steady and ambitious and incredibly goofy. he’s got a perspective on life which constantly amazes me and he always knows what’s really important, yet never takes himself too seriously. he makes me laugh like no one i’ve ever met, is completely unafraid of facing stuff head-on, is always up for fun, and can still kick my ass at chess.

and for some unfathomable reason, he seems to fancy me. and makes me believe. he makes me believe in pablo neruda love poems, and 50 year anniversaries, and in that impulse that would make one lay down their life for another. he makes me believe that there might be a force in the universe which has a plan for my life, and that perhaps he is part of that plan. because i can’t conceive of any other explanation for it without attributing to blind luck, and i refuse to believe that such an incredibly significant event in my life could only have occurred through a random act of capriciousness.

he makes me believe in the possibility of forever – because i can’t imagine my life without him.

And since last year, we’ve been around the world and back again. We planned and plotted, got lost and lost the plot. We spent 24/7 joined at the hip, waking to brilliant cold lake mornings in New Zealand, playing dominoes in the spartan mountains of China, riding through a rainstorm in Cambodia, watching the sun drop into the ocean in Costa Rica.

It only made me love you more – I didn’t even know that was possible.

But lying on top of that hill in Fiji, watching the night sky so full of stars I thought my heart would burst with the beauty of it, holding your warm hand, I remembered reading this to you from my vows on our wedding day:

a slow shift in the stars
an imperceptible twining
of my soul with yours
my hand with yours
through subtle spinning of the earth
which brought us here and now
as if it never could have been otherwise
as if nothing else ever was

Happy anniversary, baby. Two down, only 48 more to go.

because it makes me think of you: leona naess – home

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