so we are getting a new flatmate this weekend, a “friend of a friend” dealio. which, don’t get me wrong, is infinitely preferable to the stream of strangers our old flatmate was parading through the place, in an effort to fob off responsibility for next month’s rent. call me old fashioned, but somehow i think *I* should get a say in who gets to share my shower, overhear me having sex, or see me bleary-eyed and hungover on a saturday morning. i’m particular like that.

in any case, all of this was set up the week i was on holiday. j emailed me in massachusetts to tell me “a”, the new flatmate was moving in over the bank holiday. his email consisted of the single sentence “that guys is kind of moving in, and arlene is kind of moving out.” and because this is the father of any future potential babies i might have, and because i now have the legal god-given right to blame any major or minor disasters on *him*, i decided not to freak out about this, trust his judgement, and just let him sort it out.

did you read that sentence? this is major – i voluntarily abdicated control. without a gun pointed at my head.

so when i got home, i asked him what the plan was, what this guy was like, etc. and all of my oh-so-casual questions were answered with a typically vague, “i don’t know?” i could’ve asked how many heads this guy was sporting, and gotten the exact same answer. which is boy-speak for “i neglected to get any specific detail, *but i’m certainly not going to admit that to you*.”

so saturday, this guy “a” calls, and j is having a lengthy conversation about meeting up, and directions. and after he gets off the phone, i enquire what all that was about, and he says “i offered to help him move his stuff on monday.”

my immediate histrionic overreaction is, “oh *FINE*, i suppose that means we can’t *do* anything on monday now, why didn’t you tell me about this on friday, blahblahblahblah…”, followed by an surprisingly mature and prompt apology for taking his head off. (of course, the sum of my plan for monday was to sit around on my fat ass eating chocolate luckycharms straight out of the box, but *he* didn’t know that.) and although i did sufficiently apologize, i did also take the opportunity to point out that no matter how long it was *supposed* to take, it would in fact, end up taking all day. this is just how these things go. i’ve done it enough times to know that even if you are only moving five boxes from a block away, the time-space laws of moving dictate that it takes exactly 10 hours.

my husband is just way too nice. because not only did he volunteer to help this guy move in, he also helped arlene move out. and i am a big believer in moving karma, i.e. that it pays to help other people move, because you will then reciprocally be helped in moving. it’s just a good-universe all-around nice thing. this is why i drove jo’s u-haul from boston to new york, and why i once flew to Louisiana to help my friend beth move back to nyc. it’s why, after offering to help my friend shelley move to a new apartment two miles away in brooklyn, and we showed up at her doorstep at noon to find her emptying her closet into garbage bags (hangers and all), i bit my tongue, helped her empty her fishtank, and made not a peep when, at 10pm (!), we still had not actually gotten anything into the truck. moving karma is *real*.

which is why, when i finally go back to living like a married grownup and we get our own place, “a” and arlene will be first on the list of people i call to help us. and if they don’t want to suffer the wrath of the moving gods, dammit, they’d better smile.

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it’s only sunday afternoon, and I can already pronounce this bank holiday weekend a bust.

my body has decided to rebel against the modern convenience of airline travel. meaning that i have a kick ass case of jet lag. which is stupid really – you’re supposed to get jet lag going *to* the states, not coming *from*. however, being the little iconoclast i am, i’m doing it backwards.

flying home, i was all prepared to be awakened at 3am with enough hunger to eat off my own arm, prepared for cement-weighted eyelids by 10pm, prepared to wake up at 4:00 and try to keep myself quiety entertained for the next 5 hours while everyone else slept. so when none of the above occurred, and i freakishly assimilated back into eastern standard time without a whimper, it was a bit anticlimactic.

coming back, i foolishly thought i’d managed to somehow blissfully evade the inevitable. so i wasn’t too concerned when i was unable to sleep on the plane, chalking it up to being seated between the aforementioned mr-fat-ass and mr-dog-shit-breath, and surrounded by 4 screaming children. not to mention the mistake of eating the airline food which made me feel like an overinflated innertube. (and I will shamefully admit here that yes, i farted on the plane, however i was wedged between the travel companions from *hell*, so really, i think my little silent emissions were far less offensive, in the grand scheme of things.)

so i got home, and unpacked immediately (because i am *that* anal sometimes), checked my email (because i am that *pathetic*) and was suddenly hit by the impulse to sleep like a mack truck carrying an oversize load of bricks. yet, i resisted mightily, refusing to give in to the demands of my poor sleep-deprived travel-weary brain. my body was pleading for a nice soft pillow, or even a semi-warm flat surface to curl up on, but i *denied it*. ha! I made it stay up until the ungodly hour of what it, in its poor addled state, perceived to be 4am, a full 36 hours awake. i was victorious!

and now the bastard is making me pay. because the past two mornings i have woken up well after midday. which is fine, when you’re twenty and think devoting 14 hours a night to sleeping is a worthy, even noble cause. but after the age of 30, you realise that sleeping that much means you are *missing your weekend*, and that it means the workweek only rolls around that much faster. plus, you have adult responsibilities to take care of, like cleaning the gutters, or defrosting the freezer. not that i do any of that shit, mind you, but someday i will have to.

and i was awake til 3:30 last night. poor j was falling asleep at 2, and i am all wide awake, and bored and antsy, like i’m hopped up on massive quantities of coke, trying to make him stay awake with me, engage him in conversation about the nuclear threat of north korea, or get him to play chess (which he doesn’t do anymore even when he is awake, not because i suck at chess , which i do, but because i am the world’s worst sulker), or coax him into having sex. the poor thing is not even coherently following my sentences, but i’m trying to convince him he’s in the mood.

my body is finally getting it’s revenge. and not in a mildly-annoyed-uncooperative way.

it is stomping on my brain with combat boots, and saying, “hahahahaha! take *that* you mutherfucker!!”

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pics of katieb, babybean, assorted furries, and crazy family here. knock yerself out.

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back from my visit with my sis in mashpee. of course the entire time I was there, it was pouring and 50F (that’s 10C for you metric fans). and in spite of all the rain, it was still well nigh impossible to get sox tickets. the week was very low key as a result – all plans went out the window, since the weather was soooo not co-operating.

things i enjoyed:

american appliances. i did like 18 loads of laundry, just because i could. clothes that come out all fluffy and warm, and wrinkle free. it’s a good thing. miraculous. also, all hail the built in shower and dishwasher. long live mixer taps.

old navy. it’s rather sad that i get so excited about this, but cheap staples are apparently what passes for my fashion sense these days. gone are the good old days when i could drop a shitload of money on cute clothes. shifting priorities dictate that all clothing be sturdy, cheap, and multifunctional. old navy fits this bill to a tee. in fact, i am loathe to admit it, but i have not bought a single thread of clothing since the last time i went to the states. also, cheap shoes. footwear is just crazy expensive over here.

panera bread. a chain similar to what you’d expect if au bon pain crossed with starbucks, which makes it a guilty pleasure but they do amazingly delicious salads. i love salad like nothing else. mmmmm, salad.

star wars episode 3. saw this and enjoyed it much more than expected. but then again, it’s the payoff movie, so it really couldn’t go too far wrong.

american marlboros. they’re not the same here.

dunkin donuts coffee and good customer service.

peace and trees and cranberry bogs and quaintness and fried clams and beer. essence of cape cod.

spending time with the sis. seeing the family.

things i did not enjoy:

rain. more rain. cold. smoking in the aforementioned rain and cold.

the department of motor vehicles. there’s a long convoluted story there for another time. suffice to say vermont is the most ass-backward state in the union. don’t ever get a speding ticket there. especially doing 95 through a work zone.

being unable to drive because of vermont.

the incredible amount of “eating out” americans do, and the portions that could feed a family of four. i felt compelled to eat a lot. I put on a good 5 pounds in a week.

too much george bush. not enough peace, love and understanding.

insane amounts of choice. it took me ages to decide on anything, from the kind of toothpaste to buy, to what to watch on television. life should not be that hard.

big cars.

babies r us. went with kate to register for her baby stuff. what a fucking racket!!! brainwashing and excess to the nth degree. no one *needs* a 25$ babywipe warmer, or a 300$ stroller cum baby-s.u.v., or 160$ crib sheets. by the time i got out of there, i felt bitter and cynical about really cute babies, and that is saying a lot. i refuse to buy into that mentality. so i bought them a digital camera instead. very useful, but specifically *not* baby-oriented.

flight back was then delayed for an hour, i got seated between mister should’ve-bought-two-seats-so-i-don’t-have-to-completely-encroach-upon
-someone-else’s-personal-space-with-my-fat-ass, and mister dog-shit-breath, and surrounded by no fewer than 4 screaming children. *but*, i got through immigration in a breeze (yay for resident visas!) and customs did *not* go through my 8000 pounds of baggage with far in excess of the £145 personal allowance. brought back lots of clothes, food, and a queen size foam mattress pad (since i can count the number of springs in my back every night, and egg-crate foam covers don’t seem to exist here, but cost only 15$ in the states, tell me it wasn’t worth it??). of course, I then had to lug this shit all the way back from heathrow, up and down multiple sets of stairs, in 28C heat. sometimes i surprise myself.

not many pics, considering the lack of activities, but will get the few i do have up here soon.

off to nap now. nighty nite.

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off to cape cod early tomorrow morning, so doubt there’ll be much in the way of blogging over the next week…somehow, i think you’ll manage very nicely without me.

in the meantime, should you suffer any withdrawal symptoms, i’ll point you in the direction of some of my favourite blogs.

for politics: ghost in the machine. the guy is a serious follower.

the expat experience in asia: betsy goes to china

technomediablog: utterly boring

musicology: talkie walkie and catchdubs

later, alligator

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nice. federalized national id cards. fuck fuck fuckety fuck. because i trust the government with my personal information about as far as i can throw george bush. and it’s gotten almost no coverage whatsoever in the press, as it was passed on the back of an “emergency spending bill”. of all the sneaky dirty low-down tricks. this homeland security shit is spiralling out of control like a wild carnival ride, and i am powerless to stop it. we are powerless to stop it. it’s all done and dusted.

of all the 9/11 effects, the acts that day basically started in motion a chain of events designed to strip ordinary american citizens of their right to privacy. i cannot and will not live in a culture of personal invasion and fear tactics. where’s the difference between the u.s. and the dictatorships we so revile?

read what i am so het up about here

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so the reason i didn’t blog the weekend update (in case you were wondering, and I know you were) is because it wasn’t very exciting. Friday night dinner. Saturday night drinks. Sunday afternoon, drinks in the sun. All caught up.

Last night was the last poi class – well, not *the* last class, but my last class, as I am going to miss the final one next Monday, being that I’ll be in another country and haven’t yet learned to time travel. I wish I could say I am a poi master (mistress??) now. But whilst I was not the worst student in the class (an honour reserved for the dorky looking guy who always stood waaaay in the back), I was not the best. I have a repetoire of about 12-15 tricks now, which is more than I had going in. But I still hit myself in the head/eye/knees. a lot.

So I need to pack tonight – going to ma on thursday for some sun and fun on the cape with the preggo sis. she’s still trying to wrangle sox tickets, and I am still praying to the baseball gods. I am there til next Friday, when I arrive home just in time for the long bank holiday weekend – woo hoo! k8 has already invited me to go swimming at the ymca with her – sounds like i’m in for a wild time.

ever notice how many people cry in public? I’ve seen several lately and am wondering if there is a sudden outbreak of emotional display spreading like wildfire across the city, or if they’ve always been there, and i, in my constant state of obliviousness, have just not noticed. i myself have certainly never cried in public. nor have i walked from the west end to waterloo in the pouring rain to avoid taking the tube while sobbing hysterically. certainly not.

had an “away day” at work today, which consisted of yet more carers lambasting the entirety of social services for failing to perform miracles. i felt like standing up and saying “you whinging crybabies don’t know how good you have it! if you were in new york, you’d have to lug your child’s wheelchair up and down four flights of stairs, and be thankful you even have a wheelchair or stairs to lug it on! now quit your bellyaching and let us do our jobs!” luckily, i did not say that. though i did think it *really, really loudly*…

i need a break. a kit kat break.

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it’s midday, and I am still in my pyjamas, drinking the last of the sweet dunkin donuts french vanilla coffee, and looking at the sunshine outside my window. i have nothing i have to do today except decide whether to play chess or watch a movie.

does it get any better than this? i think not.

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it’s the all-star vote! you can vote up to 25 times, so get our bosox in there!

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to all my culinary cake failures over the last two years…

apparently baking powder and soda in the uk are half the strength of what you buy in th u.s.

who knew? but finally I can stop wondering why everything i bake turns out so goddamn *flat*

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I knew it!

You’re Canada!

People make fun of you a lot, but they’re stupid because you’ve got a much better life than they do. In fact, they’re probably just jealous. You believe in crazy things like human rights and health care and not dying in the streets, and you end up securing these rights for yourself and others. If it weren’t for your weird affection for ice hockey, you’d be the perfect person.

Take the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid

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reworked the “about me” page, view the newest look here

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i read a lot of news. the thing is, often i come across stuff that i just can’t process. i don’t know what to think, or how to feel. it’s easy when i’m outraged, or sad, or gloriously happy. but there’s life in this world that just makes me feel all mixed up inside. where i know i *should* feel outraged, or sad, or gloriously happy, but instead, it just all washes over me in a confusing wave.

african widows’ “cleansing” ritual in the shadow of the aids epidemic

“Here and in a number of nearby nations including Zambia and Kenya, a husband’s funeral has long concluded with a final ritual: sex between the widow and one of her husband’s relatives, to break the bond with his spirit and, it is said, save her and the rest of the village from insanity or disease. “

the horrifying photo which captured the vietnam war

“Even now I call her once a week – she lives in Toronto, Canada. We are like a family now.”

south africa – democracy ten years in

“It’s an old truism that South Africa is a land of two realities. It has never been more than a short drive from lush gardens and shopping malls to tin shanties and open sewers. Today, the contrast remains blatant…”

And specially for J: see, government *is* the people, and we are the government. the problems inherent in government are not the result of some externally imposed evil. the problem is us. we impose them. and if our governments are too often tools of oppression and corruption which kill and starve, they are equally a symbol of hope. they *can* change, because we can change them. we can change ourselves. power to the people, man.

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well, just like your parents, you arrived fashionably late, and underdressed. but just like them, i’m sure you’ll more than make up for it in charm and good looks.

and while we’re on the topic of your parents, boy are you going to be the most stylish, politically aware, well travelled child in the world! you’ll have to learn to balance radical activism with partying, social propriety with i-don’t-give-a-damn attitude, buddhist minimalism with serious shopping, jet-setting with napping, and full on debate with pacifism. good luck with that, cause god only knows how they manage to do it.

but you are going to have the most amazing life – and if i’m honest, i’m more than a bit jealous. in any case, we’ll meet soon, and I’ll give you more of the lowdown then. and a few bits of dirt on your parents for future get-out-of-jail-free purposes, oh, say, when you’re about 15 or so…

Zachary Martin Hall Blanding
1 may 2005

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to mum, cathy, kate, catie, alex, vanessa, jo, jess… love you all. enjoy your day!

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just watched this. it’s startling.

a movie which attempts to tackle existentialism, nihilism, the search for personal identity, the quest for connection, the tension between the need for belief in a larger purpose and the inability to reconcile that with the reality of the world, escapism and oblivion, and the unified theory of everything.

intelligent, charming, with a healthy dollop of surrealism thrown in for good measure.

does it have all the answers? of course not – it’s a movie. but it asks all the right questions.

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redid the photo page. check it out here

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more proof the us is going to hell in a handbasket:

evolution is overrated. I won’t even show this to j – we disagree on the whole descended from apes thingy (and you already know which side of the fence *i’m* on)

texas thinks being gay makes you evil and dirty and unfit to be a parent.

“Republican State Rep. Robert Talton of Pasadena, a Houston suburb, sponsored the amendment because he thinks children raised by homosexual foster parents were more likely to be gay.

“Homosexuals cannot procreate, so they recruit,” she said. “

Where do they *find* these people? in caves? under really big rocks? somewhere in the vicinity of nuclear fallout???

bah – it’s friday, I can’t even bother to waste the energy on a spleen vent. besides, there’s positivity here about a lesbian couple who’ve fostered 80 kids. So go read that instead, and get a nice warm fuzzy for the weekend…

enjoy y’all!

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“thought planted a feather, and thought a chicken would grow.”

what does that *mean*?!????

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well it’s election day here in the uk, so j is off at the polls.

long, arduous day for me at work. we had a partnership board/bored meeting. which is 3 hours of discussion about learning disability issues, council budget problems, services falling apart (our day centre had to close suddenly this week, as the roof collapsed), family members who take turns roasting the senior management over the coals, etc. etc. etc. you get the picture. it usually follows a fairly standard format and every meeting the same issues get rehashed, yet again, the management repeat the same placating phrases, and there is generally nothing new under the sun. however there is sometimes high drama which adds interest, and today in particular was amusing as a service user, upset that the day centre which she’s been attending for over 30 years had to be closed (did i mention the roof collapsed?), went into a lengthy and tearful diatribe, calling management evil, wicked, and horrible. hard not to laugh at that. sadly, the distraught woman has a severe speech impediment, so not everyone got the joke.

some photos from arundel here. not very interesting, but then again, neither is arundel. I was way too smart, and packed away the camera before we got soused, so the drunken evening shall remain undocumented for posterity. you’ll just have to use your imagination…

whoa – j’s back already. that was fast.

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my newest niece/nephew (already looked for telltale signs, but whoever s/he is, s/he’s not showing!)

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